memlost | voicemail

...You're not going to answer, are you?

[She just...pauses, swallowing.

And then there's a sniff and she cuts the call.

Click!]

[ One day later, he listens to her message numbly. She'll tell his mother... Right. Her panic and shattered hope, so clear he could pinpoint it by the word, settles heavy on him. He's so sorry. He takes a deep breath before calling her back. He has to know that she wasn't taken. His voice is dull, but finds the care to be a little hopeful. ]

Morgan?

[She is so startled to get the call that she fumbles the phone--it drops to the ground with a clatter, and then she's diving to pick it up, staring down at it frantically.

The screen is blank, though, so she really has no clues.]

Morgan? Morgan! Are you all right? Oh gods--where are you?

[She's flustered, even a little panicked, but...well, they're all changed, a bit, when they come in contact with Dr. Kite.]

[ She picked up, she sounds energetic enough. Thank the gods. It's a detached kind of relief. ]

I'm walking back to my house. Were you taken?

[Taken...

She didn't really need it, but somehow the confirmation makes her stomach drop nonetheless.]

...No... [It's just a whisper, though, and then she's hurrying out of her own home, shaking her head to herself.]

I'll meet you there, all right! I'll--I'll be there soon!

[ Good. That Yao employee kept up that end of the bargain, at least. Or would she have been passed over either way? At this point, it's difficult to think any good at all could have come of that encounter. ]

All right. See you in a bit.

[ It won't take him long to reach the housing spiral. He looks a mess, his clothes stained red from bullet wounds and his face smudged with blood from the heart Kite crushed in front of him. He could only clean himself up so well without a mirror... But at least he's not injured now, despite all that, so he walks among the houses normally, casting an absent eye out for Morgan. ]

[She's horrified, that's for sure, and her eyes aren't seeing much as she runs, scanning the apartment blocks for a familiar cloak. This is what she was afraid of. This is what she didn't want to see happen. Not to him.

His voice was so dull and flat, and she could remember feeling the same, after Dr. Kite had ripped out her memories and replaced them with false ones.

And eventually she does find him, and she launches herself at him as if to hug him--but he's covered in blood, so she pulls up short, instead reaching for his hands.]

Morgan--! [...and a deep breath, and she bites her lip.] ...Are you hurt? There's a lot of blood, but--

[ Honestly, the sight of her does make him feel a little better. He gives her a tiny smile as she takes his hands, guilty to be glad to have something distracting him. ]

I'm okay. I...

[ His smile fades away. How does he explain? Where does he even start? ]

I guess I was healed when I was brought in. And some of it was from-- [ Mother's heart? Oh, gods. He bites his lip and looks away. He doesn't know how to say it without confusing her, or making himself remember. Mother dying, defenseless, crying. ]

Have... Have you seen my mother?

[She can't handle it.

Her hands immediately clench around Morgan's, expression tightening into a wince, and-- yeah. She's never been good at hiding anything.

...]

I...I haven't seen her. Or heard from her. I--

[...]

I'm sorry...

[ It's the answer he was expecting, but he was still hoping it would be otherwise. Fool. He shakes his head, rejecting her apology, saying it's okay.

But it's not really okay, is it? It was easier to block it out when he was alone, when he could focus on walking and getting somewhere. But when he looks into Morgan's face and feels her squeezing his hands, he knows it's not okay. She sees the truth in him, and he sees in the truth in her.

He shakes his head again and blinks away his tears, expression falling, not trusting himself to speak. ]

[She isn't content to leave it like that. And...she has some idea of what he must be feeling. She still remembers how it felt to see her father killed in front of her--so for him to have to live with the knowledge...

Well, she understands. That's what they share most of all. The best understanding possible of each other. And so she isn't content with just holding his hands. She has to stand on her tiptoes to manage it, but she does, gently reaching to press the back of his head, to urge him to rest his face in her shoulder.

Her other arm just goes around his waist in the best hug she can manage, and then she sighs quietly.]

...It's okay to cry, you know. It's okay to be upset and cry and be angry even. And...when it comes time, then you'll be right there for Mother Robin, exactly as she needs you to be.

[ He bends to bury his face in her robes and brings his arms up to cling to her, accepting her simple comfort. But his tears come a little harder and his throat clenches at her words. His voice is thick. ]

But I wasn't. I wasn't! She was calling for me, and I...

[ Failed her. Wasn't even conscious enough to know it was happening. He clenches his fists in her robes. ]

She was only trying to save me. She wouldn't have been taken... It's my fault. [ A crack. ] My fault she was taken and... ah... [ His voice fails him completely. The utter truth of it slams into him again now that he has the luxury to accept it. Useless. Powerless. Quietly he begins to sob into her shoulder, trembling uncontrollably. ]

[It hurts. It really does hurt, to listen to him sob, to listen to him say those broken words. She's just quiet for a moment, letting him get it all out, and letting him sob. And she runs her fingers through his hair for a lack of anything better to do.

Father used to do that to her. It made her feel better.

And he did even after he felt the scar along her cranium. Because he was Father. He was...the best... And now, perhaps, she can impart some of that comfort on him as well.]

...If Dr. Kite wanted her, nothing any of us did would've stopped him. [That much is just...the truth of this place. She takes a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh.] Hey...Morgan...Isn't it great, to be loved that much?

[It's a bit of a bittersweet smile, maybe, but her tone is sincere.]

Because...she loves you so much. You're so important to her that she would do anything to save you. She's your mother and she's the most amazing person you know and...and not even this place can conquer her! She may not be back yet, but...but I'm sure of that! Because...because that's who she is! And she--she's too amazing to fail.

[She has to be better than that.

Because if not for the careful pronouns, Morgan would be talking about her own disappeared father.]

[ She'll be back. She has to be back. Right? The fingers in his hair are soothing, at least, and Morgan's voice is a comfort to hear and feel. What she says is no news to him, of course, but it's a reminder that his mother will come out the other end strong. (And then he has to quash the pang of guilt that tells him he is her weakness. His mother, not to mention the other Morgan, would chastise him for that, he's sure.)

Soon he quiets but stays where he is, taking as much comfort as he can. He gathers his thoughts and walks back into his memory. Kite's chamber wasn't long ago, yet it already feels distant and surreal. He speaks quietly. ]

He took her heart out and kept it in a box. And then, somehow, he put it in me. And I could feel... all the things she felt while she was dying. Everything. [ And he still can now, like a perpetual ache. ]

[She's quiet for a long moment, looking pained. Kite. It's always Kite. Always Kite, doing these horrible, horrible things to the people she loves. For a moment, her fingers clench into a fist against his back, where she hugs him close.

It's not fair. If she could, she would rend him to pieces just for this. For Presa. For Zohra. For Morgan.

She breathes out a slow breath, but her tone is still none-too-pleased.]

It's what he does. And...and I hate him for it.

But...but she'll be back. And nothing he can do can stop us. I won't let it!

[ ... A tiny smile at her fierceness. It's reassuring somehow. Something he can believe in. And of course, her sentiment is entirely aligned with his. He straightens and wipes his eyes on his sleeve with a sniff, a rueful quirk to his lips. ]

Let's rip him down together, the first chance we get. Then we can stick his heart into the first scum-sucking monster we come across and see how he likes it.

[...whoa there. That's some viciousness right there.

But it just makes her lips quirk into a smile. Because you know...]

That sounds pretty good to me!

[And then she goes back up on her tiptoes to ruffle his hair now that he's straightened up, and then leaves a kiss on his cheek, affectionate and sisterly.]

Are you all right?

[ ... Well. He blushes reflexively. Traumatic encounter with Kite or no, a kiss on the cheek's about the nicest gesture he could ask for. ]

... For now, I think.

[ He has to be honest. He knows he won't be completely all right until his mother is back and safe. ]

Thank you. And... sorry to make you worry.

[ That voicemail she left him was really pretty distressing... ]

...Awww, cute!

[That blush is precious. Her timeline twin is adorable, wow. Super cute. Wah.

But oh right that. She just nods contemplatively.]

You should be sorry! No more disappearing, all right! I mean, I know it's not really something that you could have helped, but still! Give it your absolute best shot.

[ He knows he isn't the manliest guy around, but wow he might as well give up on masculinity completely in the face of Morgan.

But... oh.]

I'll try not to, but... you should know something. [ He runs a hand through his hair. He hates to tell her this, but it would be worse to not tell her at all. ] I'll be disappearing again in about a day's time. Mother's heart... he said it wouldn't last for any longer than that.

[...well. That's...sobering. She pauses, listening seriously, and then she looks grim. For a moment, it's as if she doesn't know what to do with that information.

And then she reaches out to take his hands again, sighing, shoulders slumping.]

...Got it.

... You'd better come back, though! Got it? There's no slacking for tacticians-in-training!

[She's trying--trying really hard to make better of a situation as bad as this. It's what they always do, after all.]

[ He smiles weakly and squeezes her hands. It's a pretty heavy thing to tell anyone, even a master of mindless bliss. And it's an especially heavy thing to be telling his timeline twin. ]

I'll have a lot of catching up to do. Don't leave me too far behind, okay? And you have to tell me everything that happens while I'm gone!

[ But he won't let himself be too down about it, because... even if he's not completely sure his mother will get her heart back, or if he'll even get back his, the first step has to be for him to give up the heart he has now. ]

[She bows her head over his hands for a moment at that. It's...so sad, to have to say goodbye. She never, ever wants to have to say goodbye to him.

And yet here they are.

And it's that thought which prompts her to lift her head, grinning at him with as much zeal as she can manage.]

Don't be silly, Morgan! I'll never, ever leave you behind. Even if I have to drag you with me... I'll do it!

[Somehow. Always. So she squeezes his fingers tighter, before finally letting him go.]

But I guess...you probably have a tight timeline, huh? [people to see, things to do...? It's hard, to let him go like this, but--also, she can't hold him back when she'd just told him that she'd keep on moving forward.]

... Yeah.

[ There are at least a couple people he knows who will be worried sick about him. Better show his face. But before he goes, he gives her a gentle tousle of the hair. Coming over, it felt like he wouldn't be able to smile again until he saw his mother again... but here he is now. And it's hard to part ways like this, but he feels better for having seen her at all. ]

I'm glad you're safe. Stay that way, all right? I'll see you later.

[He ruffles her hair, and she giggles, smiling brightly up at him. If he's going to be brave about this, then the last thing she has to show him is a smile. If he's going to leave her again, she'll send him off with a grin so that he remembers that much.

Maybe he'll feel less alone, then.

So she just beams and nods.]

I'll see you soon, for sure!

[And then she goes.

And when she's far enough away, the smile drops from her face, and she wraps her arms around herself. Because he's leaving her again, and it's not fair at all...and if she ever sees Kite again, she'll find a way to kill him for it.]

voicemail

[3/3] i have no regrets

voice; 4/10 FUUUU

weeps

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